Monday, December 20, 2010

Long months since my last post.  I tell myself that this winter will be different. I will keep this journal to chronicle life here in the mountains as it is for an old woman who has finally found her home on this earth.  This morning I stood in the dark on my deck looking at the almost full moon shining below on the pond.  It is cold, that silent cold with no wind, deep and lovely.  I love being awake before the world starts its activity.  Even here in the country, the cars and trucks begin early on the road below.  As a child I felt so powerful waking and going outdoors before dawn..it was safe then in my Louisiana neighborhood for a little girl to wander in the early dark. Amazingly, after many unsafe places in my life, that sense of protected freedom is present here alone on this mountain in my old age.

Tomorrow is Solstice and a full moon.  Strange that the return of the light and the season of winter are simultaneous.  Mirroring nature, it always seems that our inner light is lit in the darkest times of  life.
Christmas and Solstice celebrations are the annual upwellings in which we humans try impossibly to express that return of of hope and love in the middle of challenges and difficulties. I have so often found that a loving Presence is holding my twisting and turnings in a kind of amused radiance. In the early morning dark and silence, I am most aware that I am never alone, always loved and held by the Great Mystery. What an adventure and a comfort.

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